Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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