took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
