apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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