so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
