Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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