look no pants
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
