i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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