I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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