I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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