after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
