Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
