okay pat passed out under dana's car
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
