literally had 100 drinks last night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
