Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
