so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
