my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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