My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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