having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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