my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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