I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
