He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I am one with the molecules
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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