Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
