Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
