Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
