my sisters under your porch take her home
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
im on a boat
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