toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
