You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
