.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
