Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
