Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
