Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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