think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
