yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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