fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
