he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
