meet me or not, i'm out of control
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
