Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
