Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
