Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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