yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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