It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
