she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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