remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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