i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
