who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
