There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
