Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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