So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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