He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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