it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
