This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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